I Am, In Fact, Alive

I realize that the likelihood of anyone actually reading this is pretty low, considering that I have no legitimate followers, but I thought you'd all like to hear that I am alive. I am also engaged, in school, and looking for a job since I now have to pay for a wedding. Since I last wrote, things have been going well. I'm all moved into my new place for the fall, my classes are going well and have I mentioned, I'm engaged?! Knowing that in 9 months I'll be able to spend every night in the arms of the love of my life for the rest of my life is pretty freaking sweet.

Yay! Engagement Ring! You can't tell from the photo, but it's a Tifaany Flower.

In spite of all that wonderful though, I'm feeling a lot of weird stuff this week. Kris's grandma had been sick for years and she died on Monday. I had only met her a couple of times, so I'm not personally terribly devestated, but Kris's dad has been taking care of her in lieu of a nursing home for the past seven years and the whole family's a wreck. There's a lot of drama going on with Kris's aunts and uncles and a bunch of hateful, stressful stuff that I've never experienced in a family ever before.  And it's horrifying to me.  But it's also been  really eye-opening experience.


This is Ruth, Kris's grandma, meeting her first great-grandchild.

 For example, on Sunday, I was able to grab both of my sisters into this massive group hug and I made them swear to me that no matter what I did or how far away I moved that we would also love and support each other and would never stop talking to one another. I'm vowing to make sure that my parents have professional care when they're old so I don't have to put myself and my husband through the complete and utter crap that Kris's parents have gone through and so my parents don't die in pain and agony because their caregivers don't know what to do to help. I appreciate my family so much more in light of these circumstances. I always thought my mom was a little pyschotic in her intense love for her family, whether it be brothers and sisters across town or second-cousins across the country. I realize now a lot of people don't live in circumstances like mine and I am insanely grateful for the strong sense of familial loyalty and love that my parents worked to instill in me and my sisters. Even if the world falls, we will always have each other and knowing that brings me such peace, especially as I watch Kris's family drama unfold and the stress that the memebers of his family are under.

But most of all, it makes me appreciate Kris. He has been so strong and supportive for his parents through all of this. He took the week off of school to help sort through family drama, which, as a Mine's student, is insane. Not only did he take his two teenage sister school supply shopping, but he also paid for the supplies and new clothes for them out of his own pocket. He drove to Denver and back in one day to pick his pregnant older sister up so she and her two year old could be there for the family. He has had to stand up to a bully of an uncle, deal with a vulture of a grandfather, be strong for the father that abused him as a child, and hasn't said one word about himself or the stress that this is putting on him financially and academically. I have never been more proud of or more humbled by anyone in my life. He is so good and strong and patient and amazing and I am the luckiest person in the world to be marrying him.

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